


Baby Timez

by igotatext



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Baby Fluff, Fluff, Future Fic, Gen, One Shot, gonna keep rambling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2019-02-15
Packaged: 2019-08-28 15:12:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 12,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16725801
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/igotatext/pseuds/igotatext
Summary: lots of kid and pregnancy headcannons. feel free to suggest stuff in the comments. this is probably never gonna end, so yeah.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Late night in the Santiago-Peralta household

Rachel Santiago-Peralta blinked up at Amy, not looking impressed with what she saw. From the moment she’d first begun existing, Rachel had shown a clear preference for one of her parents. Unfortunately for Amy, that parent wasn’t her.

 

“Don’t give me that look.” Amy muttered as she lifted Rachel out of her crib. “Lest you forget,  _I_  am your source of food.”

 

Rachel, whose crying had quietened to fussing when Amy had entered the room, seemed to be considering whether or not to start crying again.

 

It wasn’t fair. Amy had been the one who’d carried her for eight months, been on bed rest, et cetera.  And yet, she wasn’t their child’s favourite. She wasn’t even close, which would annoy her if it wasn’t the most adorable thing she’d ever seen.

 

Amy went over and sat in the breastfeeding chair. She checked her daughters diaper, which, lucky for her, was full. She groaned, and took Rachel over to the changing table. At this point, Rachel's fussing had transitioned to loud whining.

 

“Shh, sweetie.” Amy said, strapping her in with the seat belt thing. “Let me change your diaper, and then you’ll get your food.”

 

She tried to keep Rachel’s attention so she wouldn’t cry. How did Jake do this everyday?

 

Before Rachel could drink from a bottle, Amy was the only one that could come and feed her at night. Despite this fact, Jake insisted on waking up with her everyday. His excuse was that he wanted to spend time with Rachel, since he would be working most of the day. And so, even though there was no reason for both of them to get up, Jake followed her to the nursery. She’d breastfeed Rachel, and hand her to Jake, who’d burp her and put her to sleep. 

 

The first few times this happened, she’d wait and watch Jake take care of their baby, because it was genuinely the best thing she’d ever seen. Then, after a few days with a newborn, she’d leave immediately she was done, because that wasn’t the last time she’d be getting up that night.

 

When she could started drinking from the bottle, he completely took over the night shift. Amy felt kind of guilty, because they were supposed to be taking turns. But Jake insisted, and so this was their system. 

 

She finished changing the diaper and took Rachel over to the breastfeeding chair. Rachel was still fussing, but Amy undid a few buttons on her shirt and soon she was quietly sucking.

 

Amy sighed. This was so peaceful. Apparently, there were upsides to waking up to feed newborns at the asscrack of dawn.

 

Rachel pulled away, apparently full. She looked up at Amy, with Jake’s inquisitive eyes. She didn’t seem quite as apprehensive now that she’d eaten. She just seemed slightly confused.

 

“Look, your dad couldn’t make it.” Amy said. She liked talking to Rachel. Not baby talk, but actual conversations that she didn’t understand. There was just something about venting to someone who had no idea what you were saying.

 

“He hasn’t slept for the past twenty four hours.” She continued, smoothing down Rachel’s curly tufts with her thumb. “And he’s only been sleeping a couple hours a night thanks to a certain somebody.”

 

Rachel merely blinked in response.

 

Amy began rocking the chair back and forth, to make Rachel fall asleep quicker.

 

She kept thinking about Jake. The last two months had brought out a side of Jake that she’d never seen before. Before Rachel, it would’ve taken three consecutive alarms and Amy having to drag him off the bed to wake him up. Now the sound of a toy falling off the shelf in the nursery sent him straight up off the bed.

 

And ugh, Rachel loved him. She smiled down at her baby, whose blinks seemed to be getting longer. She was two months old, and her personality hadn’t really gotten a chance to show, between all the eating and sleeping. But Amy was sure Rachel was her father’s daughter.

 

They were always so in sync. Jake loved attention, and loved showering attention on Rachel, and vice versa. Her competitive side wanted to be Rachel’s favorite, but the rest of her wanted to take a billion pictures.

 

Rachel had fallen asleep, her cute little rosebud mouth slightly open. Amy stood up slowly, and carefully transferred her to the crib. She stood there for a moment, staring at the pure perfection that was Rachel Santiago-Peralta.

 

She sighed. She’d be back in a couple hours, so she’d better get some sleep. She turned around, only to see Jake leaning against the doorframe.

 

“How long have you been standing there?” She asked, as he came over to her and put his arm around her shoulders.

 

“Not that long.” Jake smiled down at Rachel. 

 

She watched him watch their daughter for a minute, before she said, “Come on.”

 

“Hm?”

 

“Come on. You need to sleep.” She grabbed his hand and gently pried him away. “You’re gonna collapse one of these days.”

 

“But not today.” Jake said lightly, allowing her to lead him to their room.

 

She pushed him onto the bed. “Sleep. Now, Peralta.”

 

“Whoa, she’s feisty.” He smirked, but lay down. 

 

She lay down next to him and he wrapped his arms around her. He’d given up being little spoon the minute he’d found out she was pregnant, and had refused to take it back since. 

 

God, she didn’t deserve him.

 

He remained silent, but she knew he wasn’t asleep. She stared at the wall thoughtfully. This was as good a time as any, she decided, to tell him something that had been on her mind.

 

“I’m going to tell you something,” she began, “and I don’t want you to say anything till I’m done. Got it?”

 

She took his head rubbing against her back as a yes.

 

“Look, I know you’ve we’re afraid that you’d be as bad a father as your dad. But immediately Rachel was born, you proved that you’re nothing like your father. That’s why Rachel loves you. You guys have the best father-daughter relationship I’ve ever seen. Better than me and my dad, heck, even better than me and Holt.”

 

She felt him smile.

 

“That being said, you’d still be a good father even if you didn’t check on the baby every single night. And I know,” she said before his inevitable protest, “that you want to. I just don’t want you to think you _have_ to.”

 

There was a beat where neither of them said anything. Then:

 

“I really want to do it, Ames.” Jake said quietly.

 

“Okay.” She had the best husband ever. “But you need to sleep at some point. So how about a compromise.”

 

“I’m listening.”

 

“Since your reason to take the night shift is that you won’t see her during the day, why don’t you leave weekends to me?” Amy suggested.

 

“Hmm.” 

 

“Don’t try to bargain. You’re taking the deal.”

 

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how compromises work, but okay.”

 

She turned around so she could see him. His lids were half closed, and there were dark circles under his eyes. But he was smiling, and that basically summed up their journey as parents.

 

She kissed him. “I love you.”

 

“Love you too.”

 

And they fell asleep like that.

 

For about an hour, before Rachel started wailing again.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time doesn’t flow in one direction in this fic. It isn’t progressive, so even though this one follows the last one, some chapters might be about her while she was still pregnant or when Rachel is two or when she gets pregnant for the second time or whatever. That being said, enjoy!

It was a peaceful morning in the Santiago-Peralta household. It was Sunday, they had nowhere they needed to be, and Amy was completely and totally relaxed. Before Rachel, she hadn’t really been one to actively seek out relaxation. And since she and Jake both loved their jobs, not to mention the added bonus that they were able to spend most of their days together because of it, they never took time off.

 

But now that she spent all day, everyday, doting on her angelic, ever so slightly demanding daughter, she was exhausted all the time. Rachel was yet to be able to sleep through the night, and regardless of whether or not she got up, she was awakened every time Rachel started to cry. Curse her light-sleeping nature.

 

Also, she hadn’t considered how hard it would be to do regular things with a baby. While Rachel was awake, she couldn’t leave her alone in a room or she’d start screaming bloody murder. Like yesterday for example, she’d been in the nursery with her when she’d needed to use the bathroom. Rachel had been in her crib, and wasn’t mobile enough to clamber out of it, so Amy had tried to nip to the bathroom quickly. Before she’d taken more than two steps out of the room, Rachel screamed, and Amy turned around so fast she’d almost given herself whiplash, afraid that Rachel had somehow thrown herself over the side. Of course, the little drama queen was fine. She was her father’s daughter alright.

 

Jake always argued that she was more like Amy, since she had come five weeks early and the Amy always said, “Early is ontime and on time is late.” But Amy strongly disagreed, given that Rachel was a drama queen and also had to be the center of attention at all times or she would die probably.

 

And yes, she was aware that Jake’s attention seeking stemmed from not getting enough attention as a child, and if anything Rachel got too much attention. There was also the fact that none of this was technically genetically transmitted, but whatever. She firmly believed that her daughter was a tinier, even cuter version of her husband.

 

Speaking of her husband, the pancakes he was making smelled heavenly. He’d come a long way from barely being able to boil an egg. Around the middle of her pregnancy, she’d developed a sweet tooth and kept bothering him about desserts she wanted, so he’d learned how to make a few sweet breakfasts. His French toast was a little too eggy for her tastes, but oh well. You can’t win ‘em all.

 

Of course, all of her bing eating junk food had led to her getting gestational diabetes, and all her fun ended there. Jake, bless his heart, ate healthy along with her, along with his pledge to never drink in front of her.

 

Pregnancy had not been easy. But now it was over, they had a beautiful baby girl, and they could eat their pancakes in peace on their laidback Sunday morning.

 

Except Amy was about to ruin the peaceful atmosphere. Because they needed to have a serious conversation.

 

Amy had just fed Rachel and now she was asleep. Jake had dished up the pancakes and was currently drowning his in way too much syrup. Die Hard 3 was playing on low volume as a soundtrack to their morning. It was perfect.

 

Amy sighed.

 

Jake stopped trying to fit an absurd amount of pancake into his mouth and looked up. “What’s wrong?”

 

Amy frowned. “It’s just...today.”

 

Jake looked puzzled. “Today? Sunday is your favourite day of the week.”

 

She remembered when not too long ago, Monday was her favourite day, because she could stop pretending to relax and go back to work.

 

“I still love Sunday.” Amy assured him, thinking of her daughter napping in the nursery. “It’s just that tomorrow marks three months I’ve been on maternity leave.”

 

Jake still looked confused, so she decided to elaborate.

 

“It’s just that, I miss work.” She confessed. “And I _love_ Rachel, you know that. It’s just that I feel like I didn’t make much progress as a sergeant before I got pregnant and had to be put on light duty for eight months. And then our stupid doctor just _had_ to put me on bed rest.”

 

“Yeah. He _did_ have to. You could’ve died.”

 

“There was, like, a five percent chance of that.” Amy argued.

 

“Yeah, and I’d prefer a zero percent chance.” Jake said, covering her hand with his. “But you understand why he had to do that, right?”

 

Amy pouted. “Yeah.” She sipped on her orange juice. “But I had a whole plan. The pregnancy binder was very specific.”

 

“Well, I’m sorry that you can’t plan everything.” Jake said. “But honestly, it was karma.”

 

“What?” Amy exclaimed. “How could you even say that?”

 

“The way you were going, you were going to end up giving birth in the evidence room.”

 

Amy opened her mouth to protest, but Jake held up a finger.

 

“And you were telling me why you were sad?” Jake reminded her.

 

Amy deflated. “If my _flawless_ plan had worked, I would be on maternity leave for one less month than I’m going to be now. And I know in the grand scheme of things it doesn’t sound like much. But, law enforcement isn’t usually the best at handling pregnant officers.”

 

Jake nodded. They’d both heard some terrible stories about sexist coworkers and pregnant women being forced to take unpaid leave.

 

“I just don’t want my entire career to fall apart.” Amy confessed, looking at the table. “Because before you and Rachel, it was my whole life.”

 

There was a moment where he didn’t say anything.

 

“So do you want to cut your leave short?” He asked finally.

 

“I know we decided that it would be best to not introduce any external caregivers until she was five months old.” Amy took a piece of her hair and twirled it around her finger, considering whether or not to braid it. “And I still believe it’s the right thing to do, I’m just confused.”

 

“I’ve actually been thinking about this a lot as well.” Jake admitted.

 

She finally met his gaze. “Really? And what do you think I should do?”

 

He looked serious for once. “I think you’re right. We shouldn’t get a babysitter till she’s five months old.”

 

Amy furrowed her brow in confusion. “Wait, so did you not just hear my entire speech about how I miss my job? All you have to say is what I’ve been saying all along?”

 

“No, I-“ Jake tried to say.

 

“No, because in case you’ve forgotten, I used to have a career. One that I loved. You can’t just expect it to be a given that I take care of our kid and be a housewife.”

 

“That’s not what I’m saying.” Jake insisted.

 

“So what are you saying?” Amy demanded, crossing her arms and glaring ferociously.

 

Jake sighed. “I want to take over for the next three months.”

 

Amy was caught off guard. “What?”

 

“I miss her so _much_ , every single day.” He said, intertwining their fingers. “I didn’t think it was possible to miss something so much.”

 

Amy felt a lump form in her throat. “You love your job.” She managed.

 

“So do you. And you get paid more, and your job is more important.” He insisted. “Ames, you of all people know that this is the logical solution.”

 

Amy just kept staring at him, wondering what kind of lottery she’d won to get him.

 

“It was hard for me to watch you be pregnant. You had to go through so much and I couldn’t help you at all.” He gave her his biggest smile. “Now I can. Let me do this for you.”

 

Amy couldn’t stop the tears from coming to her eyes. “Okay.” She choked out, leaning over and kissing him.

 

They continued chatting and laughing, and eating their pancakes, and Amy felt the weight off her shoulders. Next week she would be the one going back to work.

 

“I feel guilty about being this excited to leave my daughter.” Amy commented, chewing thoughtfully.

 

She’d barely gotten the sentence out when she heard a wail from the nursery. She groaned.

 

“Taking care of that will make you feel less guilty.” Jake grinned.

 

She stuck out her tongue at him, but still stood up.

 

She was going to do it all. She would be the best working mom that ever was. Rachel was going to have a badass police captain mother before she was eight.

 

And that was a Santiago-Peralta guarantee.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A Santiago-Peralta guarantee is twice as effective as a Peralta guarantee, it’s been scientifically proven.
> 
> Leave kudos if you liked it. Should I get a tumblr so you can send me prompts? Let me know!


	3. Chapter 3

“Amy?” Jake shut the front door behind him and walked further into the apartment. “Where are you?”

 

He walked into the kitchen, expecting to find her there but still no luck. He shrugged off his jacket and threw it over a chair.

 

For the past two weeks she’d been on bed rest and not once had he come home to her actually resting. She was usually cleaning the kitchen, or vacuuming, or, most concerning, cooking. Amy was a lot of things, but a chef was not one of them.

 

He knew she didn’t like not being in control of what was going on in her body, and that not being able to do any work made her feel helpless. But all he, their doctor, and everyone else wanted was for her to have a safe and complication-free birth a month from now.

 

October 3rd, he thought to himself, and smiled. But where was his wife?

 

“In the nursery.” Amy suddenly called.

 

Jake hoisted the paper bag he was carrying and walked into the nursery.

 

The nursery was the best room in their apartment by far. Neither Jake nor Amy had been one for interior design; all they wanted was a comfy couch to eat takeout after work. But all the parents they knew had told them it would be best to put a lot of effort into the room, since they would be spending a lot of their time there. Plus, they wanted everything to be perfect for their little nugget, so they’d gone a _tiny_ bit overboard.

 

Neither of them had particularly liked the idea of a pink nursery for their baby girl, so Amy had chosen lilac, and Jake had chosen turquoise. Then they’d told Charles, Rosa and Terry what they’d wanted, because although they’d made the break room unlivable, it had looked amazing. So they’d done their thing, with Amy’s constant and incredibly annoying input, to create the perfect nursery.

 

Amy didn’t go into the nursery that often, because it annoyed her to look at it. Amy’d really wanted to hang the first letter of their daughter’s name on the wall above the crib, but she couldn’t decide what to name her and it was driving her nuts. Jake wondered why she was in here today.

 

She was sitting cross legged on the floor, their hospital bag before her. She’d of course finished packing it ages ago, but she obsessively went through it periodically to make sure everything was in it, so that in itself wasn’t strange. It was the fact that she wasn’t going through it, but just staring into space.

 

“Ames?” He said, squatting to meet her eye level. She stared at him blankly. She seemed off.

 

“You good?” He asked.

 

She shrugged. “Do I not seem good?”

 

“I don’t know.” He tried to figure out what seemed off about her. “It’s just, for the past five months you’ve been a little manic, but now you seem completely calm.”

 

She gave him a ghost of a smile. “That’s ironic.”

 

“Why’s that?”

 

“The baby’s coming, Jake.”

 

He was so startled that he lost his balance and fell on his butt. “What?”

 

“I started having contractions.” She said, still remarkably calm.

 

Jake, on the other hand, was trying very hard not to hyperventilate. “Couldn’t those just be Braxton Hicks?”

 

“My water broke.”

 

Jake’s mind was going a mile a minute. Amy was going to have their baby today. The date that he’d been picturing in his head, the one they had marked on their life calendar, didn’t matter.

 

A whole lot could go wrong with premature babies. The baby could have respiratory problems, refuse breastfeeding, be underweight...he went through all the symptoms in his head, almost in full panic mode.

 

Then he looked at Amy, who was still completely calm. He remembered his duty as her husband was to remain calm and soothe her and make sure she was comfortable. So he pushed every bad thought to the back of his mind and focused on her.

 

“When did your water break?” He asked.

 

“Two hours ago.” She replied.

 

“How are the contractions?”

 

“Still thirty minutes apart and pretty mild, so I decided to wait until you got home.” She still wasn’t freaking out, Jake noted.

 

Then he realised. She’d somehow surpassed the Santiago Stress Scale. She was so anxious that she’d reverted to a temporary state of calm. He’d theorised it but he’d never thought he’d get to witness it in his lifetime.

 

“What do you want to do?” He asked, surprised he sounded so calm.

 

“I know we don’t technically have to go to the hospital right away, but I would feel better being there until the baby comes.”

 

Jake nodded and stood up. He proffered her a hand, and she took it and hoisted herself up. He grabbed the hospital bag and slung it around his shoulder.

 

This all felt so surreal. He’d just gotten back from work. He almost thought they were about to go watch Property Brothers.

 

He suddenly remembered the paper bag in his hand. He handed it to Amy.

 

She looked inside the bag. “Pierogies?”

 

“I thought since you’d been doing so well with your healthy eating, you deserved a reward.” He shrugged.

 

“Gestational diabetes sucks.” Amy agreed. “At least I don’t have to deal with that anymore.”

She stared at the bag for a few seconds, then let out a shaky breath.

 

“Ames?”

 

She looked up at him, tears in her eyes. “Jake, thirty five weeks is premature.”

 

“I know, Amy-“

 

“I have gestational diabetes and preeclampsia. So there’s complications from that as well.”

 

“I know, Amy-“

 

“She could get jaundice, not be able to breathe properly, have a high blood pressure, be underweight, get type 2 diabetes, or she could just straight up _die_ -“

 

 

“Amy.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “Breathe.”

 

She complied, tears rolling down her face.

 

“That’s all you need to do. Breathe.” He took her face in his hands. “And have our baby. Whatever comes after, we can deal with it. Do you understand?”

 

She nodded, breathing unsteadily.

 

“Right now, we just need to get to the car. Okay? Let’s take it one step at a time.” He said, and kissed her forehead.

 

He took her hand and guided her toward the door, but just before they left, he turned around and took in the apartment. Whatever happened, they would not be the same people when they came back here. But they could handle anything.

 

As he closed the door behind them, he thought, August 27th. And smiled.

 

They were going to have a baby.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I took so long. I actually wrote a completely different chapter, but then it got deleted. This chapter has three parts: this one, the next one (which is a continuation) and the last one is the events that led up to this.

Jake walked back into the precinct, taking in all the various sights and smells. He was no stranger to long absences from work (in fact, they were kind of his specialty) but the last three months, while they were not easy, were definitely rewarding. For once, he wasn’t returning to the precinct after some kind of forced absence that left him traumatized. So it was a different type of triumphant return. Instead of feeling relieved, he just felt kind of...achy.

 

But that was fine. He was here to get back into the exciting groove of being a detective, solving crimes like the genius he was.

 

He spread his arms in front of him. “The bullpen. Just as I remembered it. It’s good to be back.”

 

“Yeah!” Charles cheered. Nobody else seemed to care, which was also just as he remembered it.

 

“So,” Charles scurried behind him as he headed to his desk, “how’s little Charlotte?”

 

“Look Charles, I gave my daughter Charlotte as a middle name because you played a tiny, insignificant part in us getting together. However,” he held up a finger, “you can’t keep ignoring her actual name, or I swear I’ll get it legally changed.”

Actually, he named her Charlotte because of a bet he and Amy made, but that was a whole other story.

“I still can’t believe America’s Dream Baby shares my name.” Charles continued, as though Jake hadn’t said anything. “Someone, formed from your and Amy’s seed-“

 

“Nice chat buddy.” Jake interrupted, before he could get even more graphic.

 

He walked over to his table, which smelled a little funky (there might or might not be a three month old turkey sandwich in there) and plopped down. It had always been weird getting back into the rhythm of the precinct, but this time it was even weirder, because the reason he’d been gone wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

 

The first thing he took out of his bag was a picture of Rachel. It was taken not too long ago, and in it she’s sitting on Amy’s lap, laughing as Amy pulls a funny face.

 

He took a deep breath and started his computer. He could do this. He _had_ done this, for more than ten years. There was no reason this should be any different than his first year as a detective.

 

Except back then he worked to support his unhealthy shopping addiction, and now he worked to hopefully, someday be able to pay off his debts so he could finally contribute to his daughter’s college fund (which Amy had created about a week after they’d gotten engaged.)

 

Jake tried not to think about the fact that one of the main reasons he’d become a stay-at-home dad in the first place was because he’d missed Rachel too much. He was Jacob Sherlock Peralta. The best detective in all of Brooklyn.

 

 

*****

 

“What? Of course I don’t miss her.” Jake scoffed. “Who do you take me for, Rosa? Amy? I don’t care that my mother will probably scar my daughter for life, or that she’s probably had about five milestones since this morning and I’ve missed all of them. And I’m definitely not a helicopter parent. I don’t even care that my mom is gonna completely ignore the extremely detailed binder and feed her unpasteurized cheese or something. I don’t care at all. _Worried_.” He scoffed again, and shook his head at her.

 

Rosa stared at him. “All I said was, ‘can I have the file’. That’s it.I didn’t want to know any of that.”

 

“Sure, Rosa.” Jake said, raising a knowing eyebrow.

 

“We have a case to solve. And I don’t want to be involved in any of,” she gestured in his general direction, “ _this_. You understand?”

 

Jake tried to focus on the task ahead of him. “Yeah.”

 

“Cause you’re starting to sound like a real Terry.”

 

Jake put a hand to his chest, offended. “Come on, Rosa. Just because I have a baby doesn’t mean I suck as much as Terry.”

 

“You guys know I can hear you, right?” Terry asked, from where he was standing a few feet away.

 

“It’s not weird,” Jake continued as though he hadn’t heard him, “that I left a detailed set of instructions on how to take care of her-“

 

“ _You_ made the binder? By yourself?” Rosa asked incredulously.

 

“I might have made some contributions-“ Jake tried to say.

 

“Oh my God, you _suck_ now.” Rosa declared. “Now you’re acting like an Amy. Maybe I should just ask Charles to help on this case.”

 

“No!” Jake insisted. “I’m still Jake, your favourite person-“

 

“Not really.”

 

“-and amazing detective. We’re going to blow this case wide open.” He stood up, caught up in the momentum of his speech. “Now, what is the case?”

 

Rosa raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you listening to anything that was said during the briefing?”

 

Jake gave her the short answer, which was: “No.”

 

The long answer was that Jake had delayed dropping Rachel off until the last possible moment, and missed the briefing altogether. But Rosa didn’t nEde to know that.

 

She sighed. “Some guy was stabbed in the neck. We haven’t yet identified a murder weapon, and we have to go check out the body.”

 

“Great, let’s go right now.” Jake suggested.

 

“Whoa, there, Master Detective.”She held up a hand. “Hitchcock and Scully had to use your cop car last month, and that went about as well as could be expected. And last week I threw a drug dealer through my windshield.”

 

“What exactly happened since I left?”

 

“Took down a major heroin dealer, nothing major.” Rosa said, in her usual verbose manner. “But we need a way to get here. So unless you want to take my motorcycle-“

 

“You know that’s not happening.” Jake interrupted. “We’ll take my car. We’ll catch the bad guy, and it’ll be just like old times.”

 

Rosa looked doubtful, but said nothing.

 

Jake had no doubts at all. They’d catch the murderer, say a one liner as they arrested him, and that would be that. And then he’d go home to Rachel, who he definitely did not miss with every fiber of his being.

 

Rosa thought he’d gone soft, but he was going to prove her wrong.

 

It was time, he thought, as he followed Rosa out of the precinct, to get back in the game.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It seems no one has any prompts for me, so that’s great. Hope you liked it :)


	5. Chapter 5

Jake walked over to the driver’s side and opened the door. He turned to see Rosa, who was standing on the other side and staring in disbelief at the car.

 

“What-“ he remembered this was the first time he’d driven this car to work. “Oh, is this about the car?”

 

“It’s a minivan.”

 

He got into the car and shut the door. “Well, I needed a new car anyway.”

 

She got into the passengers seat. “And you really wanted it to be a _minivan_?”

 

“Minivans actually get a bad rep.” Jake said defensively, adjusting his mirror. In doing so, he saw what his car must look like to Rosa, the badass detective who’d eaten an entire apple with a knife that one time. And his car was filled with a bunch of baby stuff, like a car seat, diapers, and sippy cups.

 

Yeah, this probably wasn’t helping his case.

 

“Minivans do get a bad rep.” Rosa agreed. “Because they suck. Jake, you don’t have to prove anything to me. You can ride the desk for a few weeks, you don’t exactly seem like you’re in the state of mind for this.”

 

Jake scoffed. “It’s cute that you care, Rosa, but like I’ve said, time and time again, I’m good.” He fastened his seatbelt. “I didn’t ride the desk when I got back from jail, did I?”

 

“Yeah, and you freaked out and almost messed up the entire case.” Rosa pointed out.

 

Yeah, Jake didn’t know where he’d been going with that. “Okay, bad example, but you get my point.”

 

“No, I don’t think I do.”

 

Jake rolled his eyes and started the car. Immediately, the speakers started blasting the children’s audiobook he’d left in the CD player.

 

“Your kid is five months old, why would she need this?” Rosa asked incredulously.

 

“First, thanks for listening when I talk about her. Second, I realize she’s five months old, this CD is for my own enjoyment, and third,” he said, as they pulled out of the garage, “I’m ready to get back in the game.”

 

The impact of his statement was somewhat softened by the woman loudly counting to three in the background, but she got the point.

 

 

****

 

They’d gotten back to the precinct after the crime scene, and it was shaping up to be a very interesting murder.

 

Jake loved murders. They were always so fun. The victims probably didn’t think so, but oh well.

 

Their victim today was Dylan Coolidge. A guy in his mid twenties with a fat trust fund, and a penthouse paid for by his parents. The kid had it all, until he was brutally murdered of course. Their most promising suspect was Dylan’s roommate, Cody, who he apparently didn’t have the best relationship with. There had been multiple noise complaints from people in and around their building, and some people had even witnessed them getting aggressive with each other. Even so, it was still a stretch to imagine Cody murdering him in cold blood.

 

The only other person with a key to the apartment was Dylan’s on and off girlfriend, and baby mama, Sidney. But Jake was pretty sure it was Cody.

 

Cody had the means, but no motive. Though it probably wouldn’t be a problem to pay the other half of the rent, but why would he want to?

 

About an hour after they’d been at the crime scene, Dylan came in for questioning. They’d barely asked him any questions before her started making a bunch of noise about how he wouldn’t talk without a lawyer present, and so they’d let him be for now. But a moment ago, Sidney had arrived for her interrogation.

 

Rosa was silent as they stood on the other side of the one way glass. Sidney was fidgeting in her chair, looking very anxious. She was small, with pretty, elfish features. All in all, not your typical murderer, but you never know.

 

They’d been staring at her through the glass for a minute or two, when Jake asked why they weren’t going in.

 

“Let her stew for a bit.” Rosa replied, not sparing him a glance.

 

She seemed to be annoyed with him. Possibly because he’d blasted the children’s book in the car on the way back, _and_ talked along with it. Or maybe it was because he’d left in the middle of interrogating Cody because his mom had called him to ask whether or not Rachel could eat cake (the answer was no, by the way). Either way, he was pretty sure the hostility she was radiating was more than just her regular Rosa hostility. He resolved to take the case more seriously.

 

“Do we really need to do that?” Jake asked. “We both know Cody did it.”

 

Rosa looked at him. “We can’t automatically rule her out, Jake. In all your wisdom, you’d think you’d know that.”

 

Jake wanted to protest, but he kept quiet. He’d let her do it her way, since she still didn’t think he was capable.

 

****

“Who was Dylan to you?” Rosa asked.

 

“We dated on and off for two years.” Sidney replied, fiddling with her fingers. “And I’m the mother of his son, Reiner.”

 

Sidney had been very cooperative so far, unlike their other suspect. She didn’t come from the same affluent background as Dylan, but seemed to work hard for her kid. Jake liked her immediately.

 

“How old is your son?” Jake asked.

 

Sidney looked confused, but answered. “Uh, thirteen months.”

 

“Mm. Where is he now?”

 

“Called the babysitter last minute.”

 

Jake nodded knowingly. “Was the handoff hard?”

 

“Yeah, he’s not comfortable around other people yet.” She raised an eyebrow questioningly. “You have kids?”

 

“Oh, yeah.” It would be weird if he didn’t. “My daughter is twenty one weeks old.”

 

Sidney smiles. “That’s adorable. That’s probably the best time. When they’ve become more aware of their surrounding, but don’t have enough mobility to get themselves in trouble.”

 

“Every one keeps telling me that!” Jake laughs. “Though she still manages.”

 

Rosa had just been staring at him in disbelief since he’d started talking, but now she stood up. “Jake, we need to talk.”

 

Jake was confused, but her expression told him to not ask any questions. He followed her into the other side of the glass, where she immediately spun on her heel to face him.

 

“What are you doing?” She hissed. “She’s a suspect, not one of your friends from your Mommy and me classes.”

 

“First of all, it was changed to Parent and me class, because there’s single dads, gay dads, gay single dads...” He realised he was rambling. “And second, I was making her feel relaxed, so she wouldn’t be on her guard and it would be easier to get information from her.”

 

“That’s a lie. If I hadn’t interrupted, you two would’ve kept on blabbering about your babies forever.” She folded her arms. “You’re off the case.”

 

“What? You can’t do that.” Jake tried to argue.

 

“Yes, I can. I’m the primary on this case, and I’d thought that this would be a good come back for you. But I can’t afford to have you mess it up.”

 

“But-“

 

“Protest, and the only murder investigation you’ll be involved in, is your own.” She threatened.

 

Jake’s hands balled into fists at his sides, and he was about to to protest. But instead, he sighed, deflating. Maybe he wasn’t cut out for this anymore.

 

He pushed past her and left the interrogation room.

 

****

 

For most of the rest of the day, Jake sat at his desk and did paperwork. This had to be a new low. Slumming it with Hitchcock and Scully, doing mindless work that simultaneously numbed his butt and his brain.

 

He’d been filing on muscle memory for the last hour or so, and had allowed his mind to wonder. Upon reflection, he’d realised that Rosa had been right to boot him off the case. But that was the scary part. What if he really had gone soft, and he was going to be useless for the rest of his working life? Was he really destined to be a desk jockey?

 

He kept trying to work up the courage to apologise to Rosa when he saw her around the office, but he chickened our every time. Now, as he felt his fingers begin to cramp as he filled out yet another form, she materialised in front of him, as though his thoughts had conjured her.

 

“Hey, Rosa.” He said carefully, trying to gauge her mood. “What’s up?”

 

“I solved the case.” She said plainly. “It was Sidney.”

 

Jake grimaced. “Really?”

 

“If you’d actually interrogated her, you would’ve learned that Dylan never gave her enough money for child support. She figured that his huge trust fund would go to the baby if he died, but she didn’t kill him because of that. They got into an argument, and she’d impulsively stabbed him with the nearest thing she could find: scissors.” Rosa explained.

Jake whistled. “You figured all that out from unpaid child support?”

 

“No, she confessed.” Her expression was unreadable. “I just thought you’d want to know.” She started to walk away.

 

“Wait.” Jake called.

 

She turned back and looked at him expectantly.

 

“I’m sorry for almost messing up the case.” He said.

 

She sighed. “It’s not your fault. You’re just not in the right headspace right now, and that’s fine.”

 

“Really?” He’d expected her to chew him out some more.

 

“What you _should_ be apologizing for jumping straight back in even when I told you not to.”

 

Ah, there it was.

 

“I just feel weird about all this.” He admitted. “I want to jump straight back into the action, but I also have a really good reason to be careful.”

 

“You’ll find a balance.” Rosa said. “And you’re not alone.” 

 

His eyes widened.

 

“You can always talk to Terry about all this lame stuff.”

 

He smiled. He’d been afraid that Rosa Diaz was about to tell him to come to her for advice. That would’ve been too much.

 

“And I’m sorry.” Rosa mumbled.

 

Jake was back to being shocked. “What?”

 

She glared at him. “I’m sorry for making fun of you all day.” She hissed through her teeth. “You were the only one in the precinct left that didn’t have a kid, and now you’re going to be all...lame.”

 

Jake was pretty sure Rosa was saying in her own prickly way that she was afraid Jake wouldn’t have time for her. The day just kept yielding more and more surprises.

 

He was touched, but he knew if he got emotional she’d leave before he’d gotten the chance to say anything. He smirked instead.

 

“Don’t worry, Rosa. I’m no Terry. I’m not going to be lame.” He assured her, ignoring Terry, who was protesting from his desk. “We’re cool, Rosa. A thousand pushups.”

 

She didn’t smile, because she was Rosa, but she nodded. Then she left immediately, because long heartfelt conversations made her uncomfortable.

 

And later that night, as Amy made spaghetti and he sang Backstreet Boys songs off key to his grinning daughter, he wasn’t sure how he was going to do this whole working parent thing. But as long as Rosa Diaz could apologise to him for being mean, he knew anything was possible.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty long, I know. And it isn’t about jake and Amy, which I didn’t plan on, but I still think it’s a cute story. The next chapter will probably be a prompt, so excited for that. Kudos and comment pleaseee


	6. Baby Nine-nine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a prompt from @Alice_Hermione. It was amazing to write

“They know what they’re getting.” Jake said from the couch, following Amy with his gaze as she went around obsessively tidying the living room. “One non-fluffed pillow isn’t going to faze them.”

 

Their entire living space looked like a tornado had swept through it, which was also a pretty good metaphor for their lives at the moment. The last week had been crazy, and the fact that they had a newborn baby didn’t quite feel real. Other times, it felt all too real, like when they were running around in the middle of the night trying to put her back to sleep.

 

“Why do you think I’m doing this for them?” Amy asked, ignoring him and clearing things off the coffee table. “This is all for me. I’m proving to myself that it is possible to have a baby and maintain some semblance of order.”

 

Jake decided to say nothing and let her give in to her OCD urges. He knew that no matter what she did, by the end of the day, after they finally managed to put Rachel to sleep, they’d realise that for no logical reason they could think of, the entire house was a mess. And they’d be too tired to even try and fix it.

 

Today, for the first time ever, theirfriends from the nine-nine were going to meet Rachel. They’d all dutifully come to the hospital immediately they’d learned Amy had gone into labor, but because Rachel was born a month early, she’d had to go to the NICU. Jake and Amy themselves had barely held her before she was whooshed away. The squad had come in anyway, and tried their best to cheer them up. The next day, only Charles and Rosa showed up. Jake was pretty sure they’d made a schedule to come visit them, but they refused to admit to anything.

 

It was really nice how they all came together and tried to help in their own ways. Gina had threatened multiple doctors (most of which didn’t have anything to do with the delivery) that if anything happened to Rachel, she’d ruin their lives. Rosa made them look on the bright side by listing everything else that could’ve gone wrong, but didn’t. And Charles offered to cook Amy’s placenta.

 

Classic Boyle.

 

Eventually, after four days of visits, and sleeping in the hospital, and occasionally seeing Rachel to feed her, they were finally cleared to go home. And then there was the aforementioned week of chaos, and now they were here.

 

Jake would be going back to work tomorrow, so now seemed as good a time as any for the squad to meet the baby. He was honestly surprised that Charles hadn’t broken into their house by now.

 

Amy finally finished cleaning. “There.” She smiled, looking incredibly pleased with herself. “Perfect.”

 

Jake smirked. “I think you forgot one thing.” He pointed at her. “You.”

 

She was wearing grey yoga pants, a huge NYPD sweatshirt and her hair was in two stubby pigtails. She wasn’t wearing a lick of makeup, there were dark circles under her eyes, and he was also pretty sure that she’d been wearing some variation of this outfit for the last three months.

 

She grimaced. “That bad, huh?”

 

“No, you’re great.” He assured her. “The perfect picture of motherhood.”

 

“There’s spit up on this shirt.”

 

“I can say with certainty that you’re the most beautiful woman in this room.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

 

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be back.” She declared, turning and heading for the bedroom. “To think I was going to miss you.”

 

****

 

Jake sipped on his glass of champagne, already starting to have a pleasant buzz. He’d promised Amy when she’d first gotten pregnant that he’d never drink in front of her, and since he spent as much time as possible with her, he’d ended up not drinking for three months. Now his alcohol tolerance was shot.

 

The squad had been here for about half a hour, and they were currently laughing at an anecdote Gina was telling about Iggy. They’d all correctly assumed that Jake and Amy weren’t at the top of their game right now, so they’d brought a couple things. Terry brought some finger sandwiches that Sharon made, Holt brought champagne, Gina brought pizza, and Charles brought a cooler of something that sat untouched on the dining table.

 

It was so weird to him that the last time he’d seen them was just over a week ago. They’d been laughing together like this such a short time before. Of course, Holt and Gina hadn’t been present, but still.

 

“Boyle, just tell me what it is.” Jake said, for the millionth time.

 

“No, you’ll find out when she opens it.” Charles insisted.

 

They were referring to the huge box that Charles had arrived with, even though they had specifically asked him to stop giving them presents. The majority of the gifts at the baby shower had been from him, and yet here he was again.

 

“In case you didn’t realize, Charles, my daughter is a week old.” Jake stood up and went over to the table with the pizza. “So she’s not going to open it. _We_ are. The second you leave, so you might as well plead your case about why we shouldn’t return your gift, because it’s probably way too expensive.”

 

He stared at Charles expectantly, with a mouthful of pizza.

 

“It’s a tricycle.” Charles admitted.

 

“A tricycle, Charles? She can’t hold up her own head and you bought her a tricycle.”

 

“She’ll grow into it.” He insisted. “Every kid needs a bike.”

 

“Not before they can walk.”

 

“She’s gonna love it.” He continued as though Jake hadn’t said anything. “It’s hot pink, with ribbons on the handlebars and a basket on the front-“

 

“We’re not really into buying pink stuff for her.” Jake interrupted. “It’s too stereotypical.”

 

Charles looked puzzled. “I had the same one growing up.”

 

Well, how could he argue with that.

 

Suddenly, they all heard a wail from the baby monitor.

 

“Finally.” Amy stood up. “I swear, she never sleeps this long. She probably knew you were coming, the little drama queen.” She signaled to Jake that she’d get it, and then she headed to the nursery.

 

Jake started hearing whimpering. He looked to his side, where Charles had begun quivering in anticipation. He sighed and walked back to the couch, leaving Charles to freak out.

 

Amy came back with Rachel after a moment. She was swaddled, so you could barely see her face, but her eyes were open, which was an unexpected treat.

 

Charles started full on bawling, and Amy made everyone wash their hands before she handed Rachel over to him. From what little they had seen, Rachel wasn’t the best with strangers, but she was temporarily distracted by Charles sniveling all over her.

 

A few uncomfortable seconds passed watching the grown man cry, and Amy couldn’t take it anymore. She gently pried Rachel from Charles grip.

 

“You have the rest of your life to hold her, Charles.” She said, placing Rachel in Gina’s outstretched arms.

 

“Are you guys married to the name Rachel?” Gina asked, smoothing down one of Rachel’s curly tufts with her thumb. “It’s just so _basic_.”

 

“Yes, Gina.” Amy replied, exasperated.

 

“Fine.” Gina looked at Rachel, who was still surprisingly not fussing. “Don’t worry baby girl, I’ll make sure Amy’s drabness never transfers to you.”

 

Gina cooed at Rachel for a few more minutes, and then handed her to Terry, who was also getting pretty misty. Of course, he wasn’t as bad as Charles, who still was unable to speak through his tears.

 

“So this is my goddaughter.” Terry stared in wonder at her. “She’s so much tinier than any of my babies.”

 

Jake and Amy had decided to make Terry Rachel’s godfather. They’d considered Charles, but they knew that in the event that their daughter had to be raised by Charles, she’d end up with a major superiority complex from all the hero worship the Charles would give her every day. Also Nikolaj would probably murder her from jealousy. This was what had led to the bet about making Rachel‘s middle name Charlotte, because Jake knew that if Charles had nothing to do with his baby, he’d kill himself.

 

Amy hadn’t cared about whether or not Charles had anything to do with the baby, but she’d lost the bet and here they were. With Rachel Charlotte Santiago-Peralta.

 

“Well she was born a month early.” Jake pointed out.

 

“And Terry _does_ make big babies.” Amy added.

 

“She’s so cute.” He started sniffling.

 

“You guys realize that you and Charles have cried more than this baby today?” Rosa smirked.

 

“Well, Rosa,” Jake began, standing up and taking Rachel from Terry, “it’s your turn.”

 

Rosa grimaced, folding her arms. “That’s okay. I’m fine watching.”

 

“Oh, come on.” He came over to her. “I’m going to lower her down slowly, and if you don’t put your hands out before she gets to chest level, I’ll drop her, and she’ll die and it’ll be your fault.”

 

He did as he said, and at the last moment, Rosa held out her hands. He smiled and handed her over. “Support her head.” He said, watching Rosa squirm uncomfortably.

 

“That’s good, because if you’d actually dropped my baby, you guys would be the ones that died.” Amy said, glaring at Jake.

 

Rosa held Rachel’s body an arm’s length away, looking at her as though she was explosive.

 

“Hold her father away from you, Rosa.” Jake said sarcastically.

 

Charles had now taken out a camera and was taking a bunch of pictures, while still crying.

 

Rachel whimpered and Rosa immediately handed her back to Jake. “She hates me.” She insisted.

 

“No, she’s just sleepy and dramatic and tired of being passed around.” Jake said, gently rocking Rachel.

 

“Call me when she starts walking.” Rosa said. “Every little girl should learn how to wield an axe.”

 

“We’ll keep that in mind.” Jake said, sharing a concerned look with Amy.

 

When Rachel calmed back down, it was time for her to be held by her adoptive grandfather, Commissioner Holt. He’d been pretty quiet through this whole ordeal, but he’d already given them his speech on how proud he was of them on the day Rachel was born, so Jake wasn’t too worried. Now he was finally getting to meet her.

 

Jake silently put Rachel in Holt’s arms and stepped back. Holt stared at her and she stared back. It was the most beautiful thing Jake had ever seen.

 

Jake started feeling a little emotional. He turned back to see Amy, who already had tears streaming down her face.

 

“Amy?” He asked, torn between wanting to laugh at her and wanting to join her.

 

“I just gave birth. The rules are different for me.” She sniffed, wiping her nose on her sleeve.

 

“She is quite small.” Holt observed suddenly.

 

“Yeah.” Jake replied. “And when we were thinking up nicknames for her, we thought it would be fun to call her Rae.”

 

Holt continued to stare at the baby, not paying Jake any attention.

“See what I did there?” Jake prodded.

 

“Yes. It sounds like my name.” Holt replied, sounding no more excited than usual.

 

“Come on.” Jake insisted, coming to stand next to Holt. “Don’t pretend like you wouldn’t love our baby being called your name.”

 

“Fine.” Holt looked up, the barest hint of a smile on his face. “I love your baby being called my name.”

 

Holt ended up holding Rachel longer than anyone else, just because she seemed so chill with him. At one point she fell asleep there, which was so cute that Jake actually cried a little, and he and Amy took a bunch of pictures. He also asked Charles for some of the pictures he took, but most of them turned out blurry because he couldn’t see what he was doing through his tears.

 

All in all, a successful evening. And as he watched Rachel breathe deeply, sound asleep in Holt’s arms, he knew that she had the best support system ever. And every single person in their big, dysfunctional, workplace family would do what was best for their little Baby Nine-nine at every point in her life. And that was all he could ever ask for.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The squad here doesn’t include Hitchcock and Scully because Rachel isn’t fully vaccinated yet and who knows what they have.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t forget to read the end note, it’s basically more of the story with worse punctuation

Amy’s eyes began to water uncontrollably. God, she really didn’t want to be here. But she had a three year old who loved going to the park, and a husband incapable of saying no to said three year old. Now she was at the park.

 

She didn’t mind the park. There were trees and duck ponds and ice cream. But people always took their stupid dogs to the park, and she got her allergies like crazy.

 

Jake and Rachel had gone to get ice cream, so Amy was sat on the bench, eyes red and nose itchy, waiting for them. At this rate she’d be dead before they got back.

 

She had taken some allergy medication, but it never worked that well for her. Oh well, she thought, smiling as she watched Rachel talk Jake’s ear off about something, as long as she was happy.

 

She squinted, barely able to see them. She probably should’ve worn her contacts today, but she’d been too lazy to.

 

Rachel appeared to have let go of Jake’s hand and had gone to pet someone’s dog. Great, now she was going to be covered in some guy’s dog’s atrociously long hair.

 

She remembered when she’d been like Rachel. Of _course_ she used think dogs were cute, they were _dogs_ for goodness sake, but the whole allergy thing had really put a damper on the relationship.

 

Jake left Rachel talking to the little girl who owned the dog and came over to sit on the bench with her. He handed her an ice cream cone.

 

“How you doing?” He licked his ice cream, which had considerably lessened just from when he’d started walking over to her. “Your eyes look bloodshot.”

 

Amy narrowed her eyes at him.

 

“Beautifully bloodshot.” Jake amended hastily.

 

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll be fine. Although,” she gestured to where Rachel was still enthusiastically petting the dog, “that might be a problem later.”

 

“Maybe.” Jake glanced at her. “She said she wanted a dog.”

 

Amy stopped licking her ice cream. “What?” She’d been talking about Rachel maybe having some leftover dog hair on her. She’d hadn’t been expecting this.

 

“Well, yeah. She was telling me this whole long story about her friend who apparently has a puppy and how she really wants a dog.”

 

Amy frowned. “You don’t sound like you necessarily disagree with her.”

 

Jake said nothing. She turned to see him giving her puppy dog eyes.

 

Amy looked to the heavens, hoping whoever was up there would give her strength. “Jake, you’ve got to be kidding me.” She met his gaze. “Did you buy her a _dog_?”

 

“No!” Jake said quickly. “Of course not, I wouldn’t do that.”

 

Amy would’ve sighed in relief, but Jake still looked guilty. She glared at him.

 

“I _have_  been thinking about it.” He admitted, looking down sheepishly.

 

“Jake, you can’t be serious.” Amy shook her head. “Maybe you haven’t heard, but I’m allergic to dogs.”

 

“She’s wants one so bad!” Jake argued. “Why not get her one?”

 

“First, I’m allergic.” Amy began to list. “Second, I’ll die. Third, the first and second reasons are sufficient.”

 

Jake sighed. “Fine.”

 

They said nothing for a moment, and Amy wondered what she’d done in her past life to deserve this.

 

“So we’re on the same page?” She asked, just to make sure she wasn’t going to come home to a dog tomorrow.

 

“Yes.” Jake nodded.

 

“We have to nip this in the bud.” Amy said, at the same time Jake said, “We’ll tell her we’ll think about it.”

 

“Come _on_ , Jake.” Amy said exasperatedly. “You need to learn to say no to her sometime.”

 

Jake was the Fun Parent, and Amy was the Discipline Parent. This was how it always had been, and they’d known it would be this way before they’d even started trying to have kids.

 

Combined, they were the perfect parent. Problems only arose when Amy had to organize fun activities for Rachel to do, or when Jake had to refuse his precious angel anything at all.

 

Every time Rachel left veggies on her plate, Amy would beg her to eat them. But Rachel, being even more stubborn than both her parents, would refuse.

 

Thirty minutes would pass, and Amy would be seriously considering force feeding, when Jake would insist that Rachel was full. Amy would let her off the hook, but warn them that if Rachel felt hungry in the middle of the night, she couldn’t come bother her.

 

So Rachel would bother Jake, and Amy would hear to the whole thing, and she’d end up helping because she didn’t trust them alone in the kitchen. And they’d end up eating grilled cheese sandwiches at 3am and giggling, and now that she thought about it, it didn’t sound that bad, but the point _was_ that it was born from Rachel’s disobedience.

 

“...you signed up for this.” Amy suddenly realized Jake had been talking to her. “You agreed to marry me, that was your first mistake.”

 

Jake was right. Why had she even agreed to any of this?

 

Then she spotted her daughter running towards them, with Jake’s big fluffy curls bouncing on her shoulders, and Jake’s big goofy smile splitting her face. And she remembered why.

 

She put her free hand on Jake’s shoulder. “I didn’t make a mistake.”

 

He seemed very confused by her sudden change of heart, but was smart enough to not question it. He leaned in to kiss her, but when he was inches away, she put a finger to his lips.

 

“You’re gonna tell her.”

 

*****

 

They decided to not say anything until Rachel brought it up. Their daughter had a short attention span. That was why her favorite color changed every few days, and it was also why a lot of times when they couldn’t get her something, instead of disappointing her, they just let her forget about it.

 

Were they terrible people? Yes. But they were also geniuses.

 

To their surprise, and to Jake’s utter dismay, she brought it up when they were eating dinner. Amy quickly excused herself, so Jake wouldn’t be able to make her do the talking.

 

She waited fifteen minutes and came back out. Miraculously, there were no tears. No tantrums. Just their daughter, calmly explaining that her new favorite color was red because it was the color of her favorite flavor of Kool-aid.

 

Immediately she’d gone to bed, Amy immediately confronted Jake. Not that she didn’t trust her husband, but she’d been a little worried he’d done the opposite of what she’d told him and promised Rachel a dog.

 

She looked at him expectantly.

 

“We’re not getting a dog.” He said finally. “I don’t know why I was so worried. For some reason, our daughter chose you over a dog.”

 

“Unbelievable.” Amy said sarcastically.

 

“But then she asked if she could get another pet.”

 

Amy tensed up. “You said she could get a tarantula, didn’t you?”

 

“Have you no faith, woman?”

 

“Yes.”

 

Jake began to explain. Apparently, Rachel had asked for another pet, and Jake had told her she wasn’t responsible enough to handle it. Rachel had of course argued that she wouldn’t be able to prove her responsibility without getting a pet.

 

Jake, unable to fault her reasoning, had caved and decided to buy her a goldfish.

 

And so John McClane-Peralta joined their family.

 

“John McClane.” Rachel had replied when they’d asked what she wanted to name it. “Because he’s a hero.”

 

Amy wasn’t sure what logic she’d used to come to the conclusion that her goldfish was a hero, but it’d made Jake tear up in happiness, so that was that.

 

Later, when Rachel admitted secretly to her that she’d only done it to make her daddy happy, Amy knew that they were doing something right.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> john mcclane peralta tragically died two days later. Rachel tried to make up for forgetting to feed him by over feeding him, and amy found him belly up. afraid of their daughters reaction (she’s a drama queen like her dad, don’t forget) they replaced the fish.
> 
> and continued doing so every time it died.
> 
> the space between replacements kept getting longer, until john mcclane vi lived for four months straight. so their daughter was actually getting more responsible, to amys surprise. so a bigger pet may be on the cards in the future.
> 
> (this is the longest note ever, i didn’t feel like adding this in)


	8. Chapter 8

Amy trudged up the stairs, bag in hand and exhaustion weighing her down. She’d just worked for ten hours straight on Christmas, and on top of feeling like she’d been hit by a bus, she also felt guilty.

 

 

Working on Christmas in itself wasn’t a novel concept to her. As most of her colleagues knew by now, she was a workaholic. She’d only stop going to work if she could no longer stand, or if the sun swallowed the earth. Whichever happened first.

 

At least, that’s how she’d been before this year.

 

She’d had a baby this year, which was why she was way more tired than usual, and also most of the reason why she felt guilty. It was her daughter’s very first Christmas, and she’d spent most of it working.

 

Jake had assured her it wasn’t a big deal, because if he hadn’t been doing the whole paternity leave thing, he’d have done the same thing. He’d also pointed out the latest their child was a quarter Jewish, so they could skip the whole Christmas thing altogether. Then he’d suggested they celebrate Hanukkah, but she’d made him save his insane baby-sneaker shopping for when Rachel was at a more stable size.

 

All she wanted to do was chill with her husband and baby for the evening, but she couldn’t even do that. Her brother was hosting Christmas dinner at his house this year, and she was going to barely have time to change before they had to take the subway to Long Island. She loved her family, she just wasn’t in the right state of mind to deal with every single one of her relatives in one place at the same time.

 

She could see it now. Jake and her dad would be casually sniping at each other, her mom would be passive aggressively judging her parenting techniques, and her brother Mark’s annoying girlfriend would tell her she still looked pregnant. She couldn’t wait.

 

The only good thing that had come out of today was the fact that Holt had finally accepted one of her Christmas gifts. Last year she’d tried to use the excuse that now he was commissioner, he was no technically no longer her boss, so his rule did not apply. But he’d replied that as the commissioner of the NYPD, he was everyone’s boss. But this year, for the first time ever, he’d accepted the gift, because she’d told him it was from Rachel, and for some reason he’d humored her. So yeah.

 

Amy finally got to her floor. She walked down the hall to their apartment and took a steadying breath. What she expected to see when she opened the door Jake wearing his fanciest Christmas sweater (even though it wasn’t even a Christmas sweater party), with Rachel in her stroller, ready to leave for the party.

 

Instead, she found the living room empty. And the kitchen, which could also be seen from the door, was also empty.

 

This was especially strange, because ever since Jake had morphed from man baby to responsible father (which she took full credit for, by the way), she’d always found him in the living room when she came back. Doing stereotypical housewife things, like cooking, or even better, cleaning. 

 

“Jake?” She called, dropping her bag on the coffee table and taking off her coat. She wondered what he could possibly be doing.

 

She suddenly noticed Rachel’s stroller in the middle of the room. She frowned and began walking towards it. Why would Jake leave this here?

 

Just when she thought she couldn’t get any more confused, she saw Rachel staring up at her from the stroller.

 

“Jake!” She called again, louder and angrier. Why would he leave their four month old baby alone in the living room?

 

She picked her up from the stroller, and saw that she was wearing a cute little reindeer onesie. Adorable, but not enough to make her forget the matter of hand.

 

Jake appeared in the doorway leading to their bedroom, striking a pose. He was wearing a matching onesie.

 

“Whaddya think?” He gestured to what he was wearing.

 

“Why did you leave Rachel alone?” Amy asked, ignoring his question.

 

“I was with her the whole time, but I ran inside when I heard you at the door, so I could do a big reveal.”

 

Amy blinked. Was it the fact that she was tired, or was he actually not making any sense?

 

Amy sighed heavily. “I thought you’d be ready for the party by now. Or is that what you’re wearing?”

 

“No. I mean, yes.”

 

“You’re not wearing that to the party.” Amy stated. _She_ might have been used to Jake’s adorable eccentricities, but the rest of her family would definitely not be amused to see Jake at their business-casual dinner party wearing a reindeer onesie. Maybe he _was_ still a man-baby.

 

 

“No, I’m not.”

 

“Then why did you wear it?” Amy asked, exasperated. They were going to be late, she thought, trying not to get anxious.

 

“Because we’re not going!” Jake declared, throwing his hands up in a ta-da motion.

 

She stared at him blankly. “Yes we are. We told my parents we were coming.”

 

“And yesterday I called your brother and told him we were really tired from staying up with the baby and we wanted to spend the days up to the new year resting.” Jake beamed, sounding very proud of himself. “I knew you didn’t wanna go, but didn’t want to disappoint your parents.”

 

She sat down heavily, positioning Rachel to lay flat on her stomach. An enormous feeling of relief washed over her.

 

“But that’s not all.” Jake plopped down next to her. “Do you smell anything?”

 

She frowned. “What, did Rachel fill her diaper?”

 

“No!” His brows furrowed. “Well, maybe. But I was talking about the pizza.”

 

Jake finally stopped giving her information in bits and pieces and told her his entire plan. He’d noticed that she’d been really stressed lately, and decided she needed to relax. So he ordered pizza, got matching onesies for all of them (yes, lucky for her, she got one too) and compiled a list of the best Christmas movies for them to sit at home and watch.

 

“Now we have our cute little family unit, we need to form our own traditions.” Jake said, bouncing Rachel in his arms as he waited for Amy to change into her reindeer onesie. “If we want to celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or both. If we want to have a big Christmas dinner or sit and watch tv in pajamas.”

 

Amy smiled, pulling her good up so her antlers stuck out. He was right, they could form their own traditions.As long of none of them included inviting both sets of parents over, because that would only end in disaster.

 

“Or even,” Jake continued, “if we want to buy eight pairs of baby sneakers.”

 

Amy gave him a look. “Don’t you dare.”

 

They had a wonderful first Christmas with Rachel. They ate pizza, laughed, watched classic Christmas movies, like Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer, and Die Hard (which, according to Jake, was the best Christmas movie of all time).

 

It was amazing, and Amy felt more at peace than she had in weeks. She actually wouldn’t mind if this became a Santiago-Peralta family tradition.

 

And though she’d been exhausted when she walked in, Jake and Rachel still managed to fall asleep before her. She glanced over to see Rachel lying on Jake’s stomach, face squished on one side, while Jake had one hand on Rachel’s back and the other resting behind his head, which was currently sporting felt antlers.

 

She’d never seen anything so precious in her life. She knew she should wake him up, so they could get ready for bed, but first she took a bunch of pictures. She decided that this would be their Christmas card, and sent it to everyone they knew. And then she made it her phone background for good measure.

 

She sighed contentedly, and lay back on the couch to watch the last few minutes of Home Alone. She felt herself drifting, into a deep, peaceful, sleep...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is this rushed Christmas fic. I don’t know why I felt such a strong need to make it Christmas themed, I’m not a YouTuber that gets more views for talking about trending topics. But I did anyway, and it’s a day late.
> 
> Merry Christmas everyone.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> you thought it was over? ha!
> 
> I've been sooo busy with school, and was considering no longer writing now that the show is out, but decided against it. this is basically an au at this point, because (SPOILER ALERT) holt isn't commissioner on the show, but I can at least imagine a world in which he is

Ah, Valentines Day.  
  
A day that had been straining relationships since the dawn of time. Even their grimy Brooklyn precinct was not immune to its charms, what with Charles having hung red and white balloons everywhere. The man himself couldn’t stop bragging about all the Valentines cards he’d gotten, most of which were from his cousins but one of which was from his son. Terry was also very much looking forward to date night with Sharon.  
  
“Terry’s finally gonna watch that R-rated movie.” He’d said, so excited that he (and his shirt) looked ready to explode.  
  
Then there was Jake and Amy, who planned to spend their Valentines like they’d spent everyday for the last six months; staying home to take care of their baby. Valentines Day wasn’t really their thing.  
  
They had _some_ holiday traditions. Easters, Amy dragged Jake to her parents house for a very awkward lunch with all seven hundred of her relatives. New Year’s were spent with the squad at Shaw’s. But they’d been working every Valentines Day they’d known each other, and that hadn’t change even once they’d started dating.  
  
That wasn’t to say Jake wasn’t romantic. The heist proposal had been amazing, but most people wouldn’t call Halloween a traditionally romantic holiday.  
  
Ugh, why was Amy even thinking about this? She looked around at the uniformed officers, and wished she was sitting across from Jake. Last she’d seen of him, Charles had been insisting they wear matching pink T-shirt’s that said 'BFs', which Charles claimed stood for 'best friends'.  
  
“No one is gonna think that.” Charles had argued, after everyone had pointed out to him the obvious meaning.  
  
“Everyone’s gonna think that!” Jake said incredulously. “And even if it _didn’t_ stand for boyfriend, why would we give people the wrong idea by wearing them on Valentines Day of all days?”  
  
“Because today is about friendship and brotherly love!” He’d replied passionately, as everyone in the bullpen rolled their eyes.  
  
She rubbed her eyes. She’d gotten a little too lost inside that daydream. She was just so tired.  
  
Truth be told, they’d wanted to do something special tonight, but Jake’s mom had cancelled on them at the last minute (she’d said she had an ‘urgent appointment’ with Jake’s dad, which was even worse than if she’d given them no explanation). And Rachel was doing that thing where she slept in the day and stayed awake all night, so Amy was doing that thing where she didn’t sleep at all.  
  
She sighed. She was supposed to get off work early after all, so maybe she and Jake would be able to relax for a bit.  
  
******  
  
Yeah, so the taking off early plan had gone to shit. She’d ended up staying even later than she was supposed to, because new problems just kept popping up. Jake had gone ahead of her, to get Rachel from his mom, and now, almost two hours later, she was home too.  
  
She comforted herself with the thought that one day she would be rewarded for her efforts, when Rachel eventually became president, after collecting several Nobel Prizes and creating the most environmentally friendly sustainable resource. But for now, she was a baby, and she didn’t even know how to sleep right, so she should probably go deal with that.  
  
She should’ve suspected something when she came to the door and didn’t hear laughing. Jake was great at making Rachel laugh, which was better than her crying, but also got her overexcited and even harder to put to bed. Instead, she heard the faint strains of...was that Doug Judy’s smush tape?  
  
She opened the door, to reveal their Jake, wearing the fanciest suit that he had, hands spread in a _ta-da_  motion.  
  
She opened her mouth, but she couldn’t actually think of anything to say, so she just stared at him.  
  
He took her hand and led her inside. “I know the choice of music is a little bit iffy, but my choices were limited. You don’t like Taylor Swift or the Beastie Boys, and while Holt was well meaning when he gave us that jazz record, we don’t have a record player. Also, jazz sucks.”  
  
Amy said nothing, and continued to look around at what Jake had put together. On the table was what most wouldn’t consider a romantic meal, but to Amy, was the best thing he’d ever done.  
  
Since Rachel was born, they’d had increasingly less time to go to random foreign takeout places for dinner. And all the small, what Jake would describe as charming (and Amy would describe as sketchy) restaurants they liked didn’t deliver. So they’d began their intrepid journey into home cooking, and it hadn’t been going particularly well. Which was why she was ecstatic to see Chinese takeout and pierogies from that cute Polish place she loved, and a bunch more snacks, spread on the table. This was amazing. But...  
  
“Where’s our child?” She had fo ask. “I mean, I love all this, but where is she?”  
  
“She’s taken care of, don’t worry.” Jake assured her.  
  
A thought occurred to her that put a damper on things. “Wait...don’t tell me she’s with Charles?”  
  
She loved Charles, but the fact that he had no backbone, combined with his mentality that anything that came from Jake was perfect and amazing, made him a terrible babysitter for Rachel. He let her do anything she wanted. He’d once allowed her to ride his dog, which while it was irresponsible and dangerous, also meant that Amy had been temporarily allergic to her child.  
  
Jake knew she was thinking of this incident, and was quick to assure her that no, she wasn’t with Charles.   
  
“I begged my mom to cancel her _date.”_ He spat the last word out like it tasted bitter. “She agreed, on the condition that I go on a family outing with her and my dad, so remind me to kill myself before _that_ happens.”  
  
He pulled out the chair and gestured for her to sit. He sat next to her and after a moment, cleared his throat.  
  
“So you really like it?” He sounded so adorably hopeful.  
  
She wasn’t sure she had the right words to describe exactly how much she liked it, so she took his face in her hands and kissed him.  
  
“It’s perfect.”   
  
And while Jake liked to do big, loud romantic gestures, sometimes small ones were the best. A quiet, romantic evening.  
  
At least, quiet until the mariachi band he ordered burst in playing ‘Ain’t No Mountain High Enough’, but she knew that this was the best she could expect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know why I have this need to write holiday fics. but I also noticed that valentines day isn't really ever covered, so I thought I might as well write some fluff.
> 
> also, when gina left and Amy was being all emotional and crying every second, I was like, is this bitch preggers? and my sister asked me the same thing, because while Amy cares about things more than gina and rosa (and basically everyone else) she doesn't usually have saddish emotions (she's more anxious). and my sister asked me the same thing, but I don't think she's pregnant, just because when asked about future babies for peraltiago in an interview Andy acted like it was the craziest thing ever (even though the could just be doing that to throw us off the scent)
> 
> anyway, the way I'm betting it'll happen is at the end of the season, when they are finally no longer at war with the commissioner and everything is back to normal, and Jake will be like phew thank goodness everything is finally back to normal and shell be like honey I'm pregnant and hell straight up pass out

**Author's Note:**

> leave kudos if you like it. comment things you want to see and i might just make your dreams come true...


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